Smile for Me
by Raphianna
Summary: If someone were to sum up how Thomas felt at that moment with one word, it'd be: numb. Off days for Thomas were no fun, and they were especially bad when they were caused by someone he trusted. However, they could easily fade away when the one who caused it could apologise and make his day better.


**Smile for Me**

**A.N. Special thank you to my sister, Goldsaddletank for helping me put this together! Thanks sis!**

…

Thomas- he, he didn't know what was wrong.

At least, that's what he told himself. But in all truth, he was lying because he knew _exactly_ what was wrong.

He was dealing with another 'off day'.

He sat alone by Black Loch, the empty feeling he felt in his boiler, making it ache in pain and longing, was back. He was feeling down, completely unmotivated, emotionally heavy, and almost borderline emotionless.

But this off day wasn't started by just waking up and feeling that way from the start. Something had caused it.

One of his brothers, Gordon, had yelled at him.

Now, he didn't entirely blame Gordon. He had had a long day, and Thomas probably didn't help with how he approached him, but… it still hurt.

Gordon had to pull freight trains instead of the Express that day- to say he was irked, was an understatement.

…

_Gordon grumbled as he was finally uncoupled from freight trains filled with coal. His tender box was covered in coal dust and so was some of his body and a bit was on his face as well._

"_Oh the indignity…" Gordon grumbled lowly._

"_Cheer up Gordon." Jeffery hummed. "We'll get you to the washdown, and you can get cleaned up."_

"_The sooner, the better." Gordon huffed, moving down the tracks at a heated pace._

"_Gordon!"_

_Said engine flinched at the voice. "Hello Thomas…"_

_Thomas puffed up next to him, his eyes sparkling and a wide smile on his face. "You'll never guess what I saw!" The little engine said excitedly. "I was moving down my branchline, pulling Annie and Clarabel on my last passenger run, and near a little pond I saw…"_

_Gordon tried to drown out his voice. He was hot, tired, angry, and Thomas wasn't helping._

"_Thomas, I really don't care." He finally said after a moment, his voice curt and low._

_Thomas stopped what he was saying and stared at him sadly. "But…"_

"_Look, I've had a long day and it was horrible." Gordon huffed. "And I don't want to listen to any nonsense of something you saw just as I get the chance to relax." He mumbled. "So unless you can somehow magically talk the dust and heat off me, you can get lost."_

_Thomas moved slower down the line, and looked down. "Yes Gordon…"_

…

Now, Thomas sat by the Black Loch Lake, tears welling up in his eyes as he reflected on that moment with Gordon. An emotion was finally pushing its way into his smokebox: sadness.

"What did I do wrong?" He asked himself sadly, staring out at the sparkling waters of Black Loch. "Am I… a burden? A burden on Gordon?"

'_What if I am? What if… what if I'm a burden on Rosie and Edward, too? Do they really want me around? Or are they just pretending…?'_ He wondered. A solitary tear rolled down his cheek and dropped onto his footplate at the horrid thought.

His crew, Derek and Jason, had gotten out of their beloved engine's cab to stretch their legs a bit and get some fresh air… and were therefore concerned with their friend's feelings.

"Hey, Thomas, what's wrong?" Asked Derek, who was the first to see Thomas' tears fall, and he went to stand beside him.

"Please, speak to us, little bluebird." Added Jason, gently patting Thomas' cheek.

Thomas sniffled and looked at his driver and fireman with tear-filled eyes. "You… you two don't think I'm a burden, do you?" His voice quivered with sadness, and his crew were shocked and heartbroken at his question.

"Thomas the Tank Engine, you are many things, for better or worse; but a burden is not one of those things." Derek said firmly, but not unkindly. "You may get into trouble and make mistakes, as everyone does; but you're always kind to all you meet, you're a loyal friend and a devoted worker, and the best engine we could ever ask to work with."

"Exactly." Jason added. "You're a special little engine, Thomas, and we hope you'll remember that you mean so much to everyone on this Island… heck, anyone could say you're the heart of the island."

Thomas sniffled again, but he was smiling now; for his crew's words had genuinely touched his heart. "You… you mean that?" He asked, hopefully.

"Aw, of course we do, buddy," Said Jason, as he softly wiped Thomas's tears away with a cloth. "We mean every word. You're more precious than any precious stone or metal that has ever been found."

"Thank you," Thomas replied, managing a small smile. "And… I do have one thing to say for you."

"Yes?"

"Stop calling me 'little'." The tank engine replied, a cheeky smile starting to form on his lips. His crew burst out laughing.

"See? You're coming back around." Derek said approvingly.

"I guess," Replied Thomas, gratefully. "Thanks to you two. But… but I'm still upset over what Gordon said to me earlier…"

His crew nodded sympathetically.

"That's understandable, Thomas, and you have every right to feel that way." Jason said, patting Thomas's buffer comfortingly. "I'm sure Gordon will see the error of his actions and apologize to you."

Thomas said nothing, but gnawed at his lip.

Suddenly, Jason noticed something moving towards them, and squinted to get a closer look.

"You alright, Jason?" Asked Derek, as he and Thomas looked over towards their friend in bemusement.

"Is that… Gordon, coming towards us?" Jason mused, who hadn't paid attention to Derek's question. Thomas felt the water in his pipes run cold; he hadn't expected to see Gordon so soon!

He whimpered as Gordon drew up beside him.

"H-Hi…." He stammered, nervously, but trying to remain polite.

"Hello." Muttered Gordon in reply.

The two brothers lapsed into silence for a while, both staring out at the glittering waters of the Black Loch; the place that had won their hearts, soothed their feelings and strengthened their bond.

Finally, Thomas spoke again. "What do you want?"

Gordon coughed, uncertain of what to say. Well, he knew what he wanted to say- it was more that he didn't know how to say it.

"Well, uh, little Thomas, I just wanted to… that is, I needed to, erm…"

But the tank engine quickly caught Gordon's nickname for him, and he allowed himself to relax a little. Just a little.

For Gordon had called him 'little Thomas' for a long time. Once a source of nuisance for him, it had become a term of endearment for Thomas, and he stopped objecting when Edward, Rosie, and Gordon called him that. Everyone else wasn't allowed to say that; not without infuriating Thomas somewhat.

This was a good sign.

"Alright, I can't beat about the bush!" Huffed the express engine dramatically, causing Thomas to flinch a bit. "Thomas, I came here to find you and say… I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You are…?"

"Yes, of course I am!" Gordon protested indignantly, before sighing awkwardly. "That is… erm, I was tired and dirty and cross after having a bad day, and I just wanted to be left alone to fume. But that doesn't excuse my behaviour towards you. You're my little brother, Thomas, and I love you so, so much. I always enjoy your company- though I may have my moments I want to be left alone."

"And that's where my apology comes in," Sighed Thomas. "I'm sorry, Gordon- I didn't mean to annoy you. I was just excited, and I was eager to tell someone. And… you guys always like hearing my stories about my discoveries, whether they be big or small. I just… I just wasn't expecting you to be so snappy…"

"I was just having a rough day." Gordon sighed. "And I took it out on you. I can't promise I won't have another day like this, but I will try and be kinder in the event that I do."

"Thank you." Thomas smiled.

"Besides," Added Gordon, warmly. "I do like hearing you tell stories about your days. And… I like the way your face lights up when you talk about your discoveries… it's adorable."

Thomas pouted; but he couldn't stay cross with Gordon for long, and his face broke out in a big grin.

"I forgive you, Gordon," He said sincerely.

"And you didn't really need to apologise to me, Thomas- this was all my fault…"

"Gordon… I should have respected your desire to be left alone."

"But I could have addressed the matter without needing to resort to being so rude and callous to my little brother." Gordon retorted. But then he sighed. "I don't want to fight anymore. So, let's just say the matter is forgiven and forgotten. Deal?"

"Deal."

And with that, the pair exchanged a loving smile, and sat by the loch, watching the rippling waters sparkling in the light.

"I love you, little brother."

"And I love you too, big brother."

Gordon looked back to Thomas. "Do you, want to tell me about what you saw earlier?"

Like Gordon had said just moments before, Thomas' face indeed lit up. "Oh yes!"

"Great, because we want to hear it too." Jason laughed, sitting on Thomas' buffer beam along with Derek. "You were so excited, you wouldn't even tell us!"

"Really now?" Came Jeffery's amused voice as he and Andrew walked in front of Gordon.

"How odd." Andrew chuckled softly.

"Yeah…" Thomas blushed. "I guess I was too overexcited then. Sorry. But I'll tell you now!" He giggled. "So, like I said, I was pulling Annie and Clarabel on my last passenger run, when I saw four butterflies. Three were blue, and one was lavender coloured! And one of the three butterflies was the smallest of them all! It reminded me so much of Edward, Rosie, you, and me!" Thomas smiled at Gordon.

"Did it, really?" Gordon chuckled, an amused smile on his face. "Well, maybe I'll get to see those butterflies tomorrow."

"I hope so!" Thomas smiled. "Can we go home now? It's getting late and I want to tell Edward and Rosie too before I get sleepy."

"Well, let's be off then." Andrew smiled, going back into Gordon's cab, Jeffery following behind him.

Jason and Derek nodded and got back into Thomas' cab as well.

Gordon and Thomas then reversed down the line, and went forwards towards Tidmouth, intent on getting to their older brother and sister to tell them about Thomas' discovery.


End file.
